@badbanana: The sincerest form of flattery is having a robot from the future sent back in time to kill you. Imitation is a distant second.
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@Kyle_Raney: DATING TIP: Girls love sensitive guys. Loudly wince when she touches you. Re-apply sunblock 38 times. Bring up how often your gums bleed.
@adamjest: *makes doctors appointment* *arrives 20 minutes early* *waits in doctors office for 7 hours*
@KyleMcDowell86: When I'm in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they're safe
@vladchoc: And on the eighth day, God let the dogs out. And there was much confusion among the Baha Men.