@badbanana: The sincerest form of flattery is having a robot from the future sent back in time to kill you. Imitation is a distant second.
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@Fred_Delicious: [Describing guy who just mugged me to sketch artist] "He was literally kermit the frog"
@WilliamAder: A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is that I have restless leg syndrome when I sleep.
@DanKCharnley: No matter what meal it is, always say you had "brunch" so people know how much better than them you are.