@girl_a_whirl: The Sound of Music taught me if you don't like your country's regime, you & your family can safely escape through various musical numbers.
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@Try2StopME: She: You have a girlfriend? He: No. I had one, though. She: Where did she go? He: She #Ransomware
@KentWGraham: After announcing our weight at birth, parents shouldn’t stop. If they announced it at every birthday, we’d all be a lot skinnier.
@megankcomedy: I like to eat spaghetti with my hands so people don't even have to ask how I'm doing