@bug_deal: the statue of liberty was a trojan horse thing but it was too hard to break out of and it’s full of skeletons now
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@_NTFG_: People say love is the best feeling in the world, but I think finding a toilet when you have diarrhea is better.
@TheNardvark: One time my dad caught me smoking an e-cig so he took me out to the shed and made me smoke an entire VCR.
@earfdae: She said she wanted to bump uglies. So, naturally, I got all showered & freshened up and then I rammed my Ford Pinto into her Honda Element.