@bug_deal: the statue of liberty was a trojan horse thing but it was too hard to break out of and it’s full of skeletons now
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@david8hughes: "You stand accused of 3 counts of first degree murder." "Look, I'm a lot of things--" "Are you a murderer?" [bites lower lip] "Little bit."
@Easy_Tiger__: Guys remember: if you encounter a girl in her natural habitat, don't panic. She's just as scared as you. Make loud noises, she will run off.
@sock_holliday: The person that invented toilet paper is easily the most under-appreciated hero in human history