@bridger_w: The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
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@007Pepe_Rex: Relationship status: I ran out of toilet paper a week ago. Update: I am now running out of paper towels.
@Jesssicle: I've got 99 problems, which really bothers me since I've also got OCD and I prefer even numbers.
@fatherofcomedy: I don't like doing the same things again so much that I can never be a serial killer.