@DukeSlothington: The sweats say I've given up. The Nike logo says "but not entirely."
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@WilliamAder: Arrogant Co-Worker: Do you have any idea how many years of education I have? Me: Don't feel bad, I got held back a couple of times myself.
@cepheusjackson: WIFE: How's the ventriloquism going? ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it.
@TheMichaelRock: We'd probably have a lot less crime if superheroes would stop making movies all the time.