@AdriannaLaCervx: The swimsuit portion of the presidential election is going to suck.
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@ChrisStokdyk: Do you ever wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say, "My God, I look like a pillow" ? If so, that's not a mirror - it's your pillow.
@amyjcordova: Bartender: What can I get you, gorgeous? Me: The blood of all my enemies. Bartender: Me: Bartender: Me: Miller Light
@msmollybee25: This bartender doesn't know it yet, but she is probably going to make me 36 hours late for work tomorrow.