@AdriannaLaCervx: The swimsuit portion of the presidential election is going to suck.
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@ninatreemonkey: Met my boyfriend on eharmony, also eharmony is the nickname I gave this vending machine, meet my sandwich
@TheToddWilliams: [grocery produce aisle] ME: Hi, are these genetically modified carrots? CLERK: No, why do you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why do you ask?
@OhMattyBoy: I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn't be oppressed.