@concretesledge_: The tag on this hot tub reads "6 man" when I clearly ordered a 1 man 5 woman hot tub. This one is going back!
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@amydillon: When you have kids, "sleeping in" is just lying in bed trying to figure out what that crash was.
@SaraMansford: Dear karma: perhaps we could be partners? You're doing great work, but I've identified a bunch of people you've overlooked.
@Darlainky: *puts PLEASE SPEAK AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE WHEN ORDERING sign on drive-thru* *watches people scream into the box* That’ll teach them to get my order wrong.
@shegotagronk: It's fine when Santa does it, but when I see you when you're sleeping & know when you're awake it's "creepy" and "sir, you're under arrest"