@Cheeseboy22: The teachers could tell my wife & I were embarrassed by our son's grades when we showed up to conferences with paper bags on our heads.
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@Vodkantots: The last time I left the house without wearing blush, someone tried to drive a stake through my heart.
@iamspacegirl: Santa: its snowing Christmas is canceled Put everything in the garbage Elves: no! Rudolph: what if I told you I had a very small red light
@AristotlesNZ: Drug commercial just listed "death" as a possible side affect. Seems totally legit. Ask your doctor if possible death is right for you..
@NicestHippo: Piracy dates back to the 14th century, when armed criminals boarded ships and viciously watched movies that weren't out yet