@Cheeseboy22: The teachers could tell my wife & I were embarrassed by our son's grades when we showed up to conferences with paper bags on our heads.
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@kiel_phillips: INTERVIEWER: So, do you have any questions for me? ME: What's the Wi-Fi password? I: About the job M: What is the company Wi-fi password?
@Brianhopecomedy: Glad the lady in front of me decided at the last second to stop at the yellow light as I prefer to eat my fries from the dashboard.
@Carbosly: Me blacking out when I'm drunk is God's way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.