@Cheeseboy22: The teachers could tell my wife & I were embarrassed by our son's grades when we showed up to conferences with paper bags on our heads.
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@lecalabara: My pet name for my manhood, for obvious reasons, is Whitesnake...You know, cuz... "Here I go again on my own".
@iRowlf: Sorry I look depressed. It's just that when I heard the sound of your high heels on the hardwood floor, I thought a pony was in the house.
@garrettbarry70: Wife. "Did you cut the grass?" Me. "Yep" Wife. "But it doesn't look any different!" Me. "I know, we had a lot of rain while you were out"