@Cheeseboy22: The Teen Choice Awards has to be the most legit award show because teens always make the best choices.
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@riverpig12: Twitter : bc in real life Smart, funny, beautiful women are not following us anywhere.
@dukelongboard: I crack my knuckles, turn to the cops and say "I got this" as I stroll toward the bank robbers and get shot in the face
@Shawn_spree: Wife: Am I grotesque? Me: No, angel cake! Wife: Why did you call me a cake? Me: Cake is round? *runs *