@Deurb1: The term drinks like a fish is my family crest at an open bar:P
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@Steelers1972: I hate when the cashier ask me " You doing alright today " when I'm buying a 6-pack of beer with change.
@MomOfTeen: Walking by the lingerie section Youngest: Why do they make the underwear so fancy? No one is ever going to see it anyway. Me: Uh huh.
@david8hughes: [at the opera] Me: what's wrong with that guy Wife: shh! Me: but he's tiny, he can barely hold that violin Wife [whispers]: that's a cello
@DanKCharnley: No matter what meal it is, always say you had "brunch" so people know how much better than them you are.