@rationalists: The term "mentally ill" is reserved for white people. Brown people are called terrorists. Black people are called thugs.
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@jazmasta: Goodnight moon, goodnight stars. Goodnight weird guy who walks past my house on crutches every night. Goodnight house on crutches.
@aveuaskew: Win every disagreement by saying " I know. I'm from the future." Because they can argue with you, but not science.
@holypurgatory: A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
@TheBoydP: Diet Coke: Making people feel better about ordering two Big Macs and a large fry since 1982.