@causticbob: The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.
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@ElleOhHell: "Dumb as a bag of hammers" is kind of a stupid comparison because it's actually quite a clever way to carry several hammers at once.
@LindaInDisguise: Went to WalMart today and still had all my kids when I got home. Next week, I'll try harder.
@TheWriteStuff2u: You said that if I went to visit at the hospital I should be sure to take flowers. So, when the nurse wasn't looking, I did.
@kelkulus: People who complain that my Christmas gifts are "stupid" and "thoughtless" clearly have no idea how hard it is to wrap a pineapple.