@causticbob: The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.
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@radtoria: My 8yo just asked if he could peel off my skin to see my bones when I die and then said "just kidding" in a very unconvincing tone.
@dire_beard: If a child's survival depended on my ability to share bacon, I would weep greasy, bacony tears at that child's funeral.
@AndyAsAdjective: [spelling bee] your word is 'hors d'oeuvre' "can you use it in a sentence?" yes…'I bet this kid can't spell hors d'oeuvre'
@_SingleBabyMama: I used to wait for hrs with my finger on the record button of a boom box after requesting a song on the radio. I'm familiar with commitment.