@causticbob: The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.
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@SortaBad: me: good morning, Linda Linda, my co-worker who backpacked through Europe: Not as nice as the sunrises you can see looking out from Venice
@grammar_c**t: Does anyone know the difference between an elk and a deer?nnCos I think I just ran over a cyclist.
@jergarl: Shia Labeouf always looks like he's trying to teach math after someone just waved smelling salts under his nose.