@causticbob: The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.
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@jwoodham: The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven't worked out all the bugs yet.
@djdarrellripley: Me: Can my gift this year be a new secretary. Boss: I cannot legally assign you anyone until your last secretary's case goes to trial...