@KimJongSean: The thought of having my own kids is scary because anyone who's half me and half someone dumb enough to have sex with me is doomed
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thestlouisan: Wife just said "burgs" instead of "burgers" and now I'm a little scared to think of what she's going to do with all the time she saved.
@longwall26: haha just plucked a shoulder hair so long it could only have been written by George R.R. Martin, who is widely known for abjuring brevity in
@daemonic3: Ok, milk... Check! Potato salad... Check! Tomatoes... Check! "Sir, can you wait for the total and just write one check please?"
@shariv67: If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it's working.