@AlexvanBeek: The time for being a smartass isn't when someone is in a murderous rage. There's a discreet unmarked grave out there that'll attest to that.
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@iinkedZombie: I'm sorry, I’m about to lose you because I’m driving through a tunnel underwater in a canyon on an airplane while hanging up the phone.
@KalvinMacleod: NEWS: 1.3 million people die in car accidents a year ME: [driving with my knees so I can put two hands on my burger] that's hard to believe
@jackiembouvier: If I ever go missing, put up fliers saying I left a dog in a hot car so people will actually look for me.
@kornelski: Intel's responses are magic: - There's a design flaw in Intel CPUs. - Intel: no, they work as designed. - It allows stealing of passwords. - Intel: no, it doesn't corrupt data. - There are three bugs. - Intel: we've fixed both.