@Home_Halfway: The Tortoise and the Hare is a classic story about how people who like to run are awful.
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@platinum2000: "If you're pregnant you can't get pregnant, the same goes for getting arrested, can you lick this?" I ask, trying to roll a joint in cuffs.
@mymonsterischic: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE WE GOT DIRT AND TREES WE ALSO GOT SOME LIZARDS BUT MOSTLY DIRT AND TREES
@facciabella: An astronaut squirrel, a snail that meows, crab with a whale as a daughter. Dear creators of spongebob, pass the drugs.
@MUMSIEesq: Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says "one second," wait more than one second before entering.