@PyrBliss: The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that's not a risk I'm willing to take.
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@gigglegirlnoel: If I eat healthy today then I can have one piece of candy as a reward. If I eat unhealthy, then I can have the whole bag.
@Chumpstring: ME: I lied in my interview. BOSS: what was the lie? ME: all lies. except about my aunt. BOSS: she wants to party with me? ME: big time.
@MatCro: IAN: I broke my leg once ME: I've never broken a bone, touch wood [touches wood] THE UNIVERSE: THIS MAN WILL NEVER BREAK A BONE