@hipchkk: The true irony in Taylor Swift singing about feeling 22 at age 23 is that I want to hit her in the face with a cast iron skillet.
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@dyldonot: *ball flies past 15 love -aw thanks *ball flies past 30 love -too kind *ball flies past 40 love -you too babe Have you played tennis before?
@Sal0630: Me: I'm gonna make a salad Her: I think the lettuce went bad [opens fridge] [lettuce flicks a cigarette, hops out & pulls a switch blade]
@Whitnuts: My liver's so black, it went to a respected college, got a great job, and made it's family very proud. Weren't expecting that, huh? Racist.
@OutOnTheMoors: A CW pronounces both "r"s in February, both "d"s in Wednesday and has just told me the "correct" way to say segue. Please send weapons.