@hipchkk: The true irony in Taylor Swift singing about feeling 22 at age 23 is that I want to hit her in the face with a cast iron skillet.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mortimermaiden: I was caught in a nuclear reactor with a jar of spiders in my pocket, so now I'm half man, half jar.
@TheMichaelRock: Boss: Why did you call off yesterday? Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.
@robfee: Cons of being on The Walking Dead: Almost everyone you know is dead & the world is a desolate zombie wasteland Pros: No more Adobe updates!