@seamussaid: the true test of a child is not how he treats his friends, but how he treats Minecraft villagers
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@_SingleBabyMama: I figured out the best time to go grocery shopping these days is at 3:45 AM, before the Girl Scouts even wake up. Ha, I'll show them.
@dafloydsta: ME: *opens car door for date like a gentleman* DATE: *running and out of breath* PLEASE STOP THE CAR
@HavocMantis: Whenever I experience happiness, I signal this to other humans by showing the sharpest part of my skeleton.