@wescraw: The truth will set you free. Unless the truth is you committed murder. In which, the truth will get you 25 to life.
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@Brampersandon_: [Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don't you come join me? [Lobster]: No I'm good over here. That's how my dad died.
@1Happytwit: I've been looking for the lid for this Tupperware container and somehow I'm now three weeks late for work.
@TechnicallyRon: My new erotic novel "Love in the time of autocorrect" will be out soon. Here is a sample