@XplodingUnicorn: The U.S. Army developed a pizza that stays good for 3 years. Finally, those billions in military spending paid off. Your move, Al Qaeda.
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@EdwindelaRenta: me: i'm really glad we met, i feel like I can completely be myself around u. u had me at hello kidnapper: pls stop talking
@tigdonovan: Stop tweeting about what real women are and are not. You're going to blow my secret that I'm a lizard creature zipped into a woman suit
@Sarcasticsapien: Saying "to each his own" is the best way to tell someone you respect their right to have an extremely stupid opinion.