@XplodingUnicorn: The U.S. Army developed a pizza that stays good for 3 years. Finally, those billions in military spending paid off. Your move, Al Qaeda.
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@Storminika: *Attempts to give a Homeless guy change* Him: Thanks. You never know, one day my situation might be you. Me: Really? *holds on to change*
@TheToddWilliams: I dropped a LOT of acid in the 70s. It was sulfuric acid. I worked for a chemist you see...well a few chemists. I kept getting fired for dro
@MasonCrossBooks: My daughter actually submitted this feedback at school. Not sure if I should ground her or buy her ice cream...
@CornOnTheGoblin: [purposefully keeps messing up my hot dog eating scene] director: cut! [sighs] bring in another hot dog, take 11