@SanuTweetsU: The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons.
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@robfee: I wish boxing was like wrestling so when the ref was distracted Manny Pacquiao would run in & hit Floyd Mayweather with a Stone Cold Stunner
@CallousBalzac: My spirit animal is this 9 yo, so calm and polite during girl sleepover drama, who just told me "literally, nothing is interesting to me".
@SteveSuckington: Fun prank: 1. Steal your married friends phone 2. Change your name to 'Brandi from the club' 3. Call repeatedly at 3AM and hang up