@Phook75: The upside to having kids is how you're able to use them as an excuse to cancel unwanted plans
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@Holy_Mowgli: As a kid I only had the box of 8, but now that I'm an adult I can afford to eat an entire 64-count box of crayons.
@TheCiscoKidder: Cop: Why did you burn that building down? Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go.
@1par8head: Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...