@Phook75: The upside to having kids is how you're able to use them as an excuse to cancel unwanted plans
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@scorpicpanda: Hubs proposed to me with a really cool flash mob and a medley of Nirvana hits. JK. He was like, "I wanna marry you." And I was like, "K."
@Kyle_Lippert: MTV giving awards for music is the same as Fox News giving an award for unbiased journalism.
@protolalia: My ex DM'd me to say I'm acting creepy then unfollowed me. Luckily, I have his password so I just refollowed myself and told him he's wrong.