@weinerdog4life: The USB port on this cat doesn't work.
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@AnniemuMary: Found an old, dead mosquito in a storage box. You guys want to try and make a Jurassic Park?
@WowItsStephen: Assuming makes an ass out of u and Ming, the thai food delivery boy who you assumed was from Thailand but is actually Chinese.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: How was your first day of school? 5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back?