If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@weinerdog4life: The USB port on this cat doesn't work.
@AimeeHelene1: "Follow me!"
Me: Don't tell me what to do, ERIC!!!
(Me at an exercise class)
@MartaEffing: *leaning seductively, slowly dragging fingertip across countertop*
Me: how much for the entire case?
Donut shop clerk: ma'am, $8.99 a dozen
@iAmDelFreaky: I was practicing moves on a stripper pole, when all of a sudden I heard a loud ringing. Then 3 firemen fell from the sky and crushed me.
@PaperWash: *holds finger up and chews for like 8 minutes after aunt asks me how I've been*
@mikeleffingwell: "And... uh... chocolate kills dogs." - God puts the finishing touches on life on earth.