@weinerdog4life: The USB port on this cat doesn't work.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brianhopecomedy: I babysat for the first time and it was just non-stop screaming. Next time I'll look before I lie down on the couch.
@aligarchy: sorry i'm late, i have terrible time management skills and zero perception of distance as it pertains to speed of travel
@buseysteeth: You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.
@internetluke: [leaving HS reunion w/ date] Aren't you going to ask why everybody was calling me 'smelly boy' tonight? "Seemed pretty clear I thought"