@UNTRESOR: The Victoria's Secret models should use their wings to fly to a food source.
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@SamGirlSunday: If Kim Kardashian & Snooki were drowning & I could only save one, I'd have a hard time deciding whether to make a sandwich or take a nap.
@BlakWidowBarbee: Relax lady, you can quit giving me dirty evil looks. I don't want my own husband, so I sure as hell don't want yours.
@PortRooster: On phone: GF: We're breaking up... Me: I can hear you fine! GF: It's not you, it's me... Me: Did you get a new provider? GF: Kinda... Bye!
@TheBoydP: To understand the difference between Italians and Canadians all you need to know is two things. Italian sausage and Canadian bacon...