@UNTRESOR: The Victoria's Secret models should use their wings to fly to a food source.
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@Shot_Of_Cabo: [ phone call ] Wife: You want the white 7" or the black 9". Me: The black 9". ..and if she wasn't tablet shopping this would be awkward.
@ShesARealGenius: On your first day in prison, make sure you go up to the warden and compliment the décor.
@ColesTwitt3r: i am fine with my casket + dead body being dug up by grave robbers as long as they do it in the style of an unboxing video