@othersome: the waiter grinds me some pepper. "tell me when." i never say 'when'. the restaurant and the city fill with pepper. sky turns black w/ peppr
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@TheMichaelRock: Shout out to Debra on Facebook for saving lives by letting everyone know that the snow is slippery.
@MandiAtRandom: Don't describe two completely different things as "apples and oranges" they're both fruit Say something like "elephants and crystal meth"
@decentbirthday: judge: we hereby find you guilty of parrot smuggling me: this is bullshit *from jacket* this is bullshit