@PAT_E_ROCK: The water drought in California is so bad, that someone broke into my cousins house and stole his waterbed.
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@BassoonJokes: The holidays are coming. If you do NOT want snakes please send me a notarized letter asking for NO SNAKES. Otherwise you are getting snakes.
@flahertykeely: stuck on a crowded subway next to a girl playing candycrush, she made a bad move & half the car went "ooooo" in a chorus of dismay
@HeyZeus666: I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.