@sfjdotcom: The way I dealt with that unexpected cobweb to the face tells me I probably wouldn't have been much use in Vietnam.
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@primawesome: Tommy Lee Jones always looks like his son just told him he wants to ride unicycles professionally.
@VerifiedJayy: Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades. Wait til spring Enjoy
@captainkalvis: Date: maybe go easy on the salt *i stand up so i can see over my pile of salt* Me: but what if there's a slug in my stomach Date: *trying* then you'd only need a little Me: *motioning to the server to bring more salt* what if its a family of slugs
@KateWhineHall: I'm eating a vegan lunch today. Sure, it's six sleeves of Smarties and a Diet Coke, but I'm still better than you.