@sfjdotcom: The way I dealt with that unexpected cobweb to the face tells me I probably wouldn't have been much use in Vietnam.
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@EmmaUtters: Someone knocked at my door asking if I would like to donate to the children's home so I just chucked him a few kids
@Thedudish: My fridge is so empty, I just saw a fly in my kitchen wearing a pastry apron, kneading dough and mumbling "He doesn't even buy bread."
@daemonic3: [spelling bee] Your word is 'golfed' "May I have it in a sentence please?" Sure. He golfed with a tee. "G-O-L-F-T"