@BoutCrazed: The way I see it, the only thing my daughter's little "boyfriend" needs to know about me is I ain't afraid to go back to prison.
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@Marlebean: A "clear memory" button, but for my brain. And while we're at it, a "delete cookies" button, but for my thighs.
@CM2BTTHD: CPR refresher class. We're told, "If they're not breathing, there's no way you can make it worse." Woman then trips; kicks dummy's head off.
@AristotlesNZ: Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed.