@Kyle_Lippert: The weather is so hot that it gave me the wrong phone number.
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@jedfudally: childrens alphabet books are the only thing keeping us from forgetting what a xylophone is
@TheTweetOfGod: Capitalism is controlled by an "invisible hand" that gives most people the invisible finger.
@david8hughes: "911 what's your emergency?" "Yeah, I've got so many questions about bees." *sighs* "Please hold for the president."