@Kyle_Lippert: The weather is so hot that it gave me the wrong phone number.
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@TheMichaelRock: My boys cleaned out my car and now my change is missing. Little do they know, it costs exactly $3.63 to turn our wifi back on.
@imence2: This guys talking about "Calm down, everything happens for a reason". Then he gets all angry when I punch him in the face. What a hypocrite.
@sara_ashlynn: I'm a long-term thinker. For instance, the green bananas I bought will be delicious in 2 days.