@lwhit_the_boss: The weatherman is telling us to expect 8 to 9 inches, but he's probably lying.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: My father is very upset that I'm your girlfriend. Me: Well, duh, I'm very upset that you're my girlfriend...
@RidiculousSheri: The neighbors with the baby moved out, and now the loudest crying heard throughout the entire apartment complex comes from me.
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: *walks up behind me when I'm on the computer* What game are you playing? Me: Pay the bills. 5: Are you winning? Me: No.
@SamDeLanche: We only speak to our two year old with a British accent. She's going to be the coolest kindergartner in Kansas.