@Piecezilla: The weatherman said it's nice outside. I guess they don't let him watch the rest of the news.
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@TheDailySchmuck: I'm black but not " can't understand the Winter Olympics" black. Those guys in the ski race are running from cops on a bobsled, right?
@KalvinMacleod: [me, in a sting operation] Can I buy your best stuff? DRUG DEALER: what do u mean by stuff? *talking into my shirt* what do I mean by stuff?
@sara_ashlynn: My mom called and gave me the weekly weather report. I can't wait to do this to my kids.