@thenamesmikeG: The weirdest thing just happened. I had Cancer, then 15 people on Facebook were brave enough to change their statuses, & now I'm cured.
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@radtoria: amazing how folks can pinpoint the subtle floral undertones in a glass of wine while i'm like "yo, is there mustard on this grilled cheese?"
@neiltyson: Exterminators: The only profession in which you put yourself out of business by being really good at your job.
@behindyourback: Death be not proud. Death not so great with words, but happy to go out with any girl you want fix Death up with.
@theshantilly: 9: I'm writing a book based on a true story. Me: Make me look good. 9: FINE. I'll write something else.