@mayamanion: The whole "bad boy" thing is fun until you have kids with him. Ooh you drank away the diaper money? That's soooo hot
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@StarrsWar: No officer I didn't mean to run him over. Yes I saw him but I thought he was my ex, and clearly he is not my ex.
@oakhillbargrill: If you are trading Cephalopods, it's important that you exchange those that are of equal size and value. You know.... Squid Pro Quo
@RollAroundSue: 7: Its the last week of school so we don't have to go. Can I stay home? Me: Ha! Nice try, kid. Teacher: Its true. Me: Ha! NICE TRY, TEACHER.
@midnightwhale: [police station] "sir you get one phone call." [calls 911] "hello 911 what's your emergency?" yeah a bunch of pricks are holding me hostage.