@LABeachmom: The whole "limiting myself to one glass of wine a day" thing is going really great. I'm like 5 years ahead of schedule.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ShoutingGoddess: One day we'll open Twitter & it'll just say: Thanks for playing! Hope you enjoyed this social experiment. Now apologise to your loved ones.
@richforri: "I'd kill you if I thought I could get away with it".......things that were said to me during my divorce. Hey guy's, she's available!
@jwoodham: "You have a date? With who?" [Sees a fishing boat] "Uh, her name is Net..." [Sees someone with a booger] "Flicks! Net Flicks! Wait. Dammit."