@michaelianblack: The whole thing about "we're all going to die some day," that's a joke, right?
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@davidkenny100: Work meeting Boss: it's come to my attention that someone has been eating out of the trash! Everyone, including his pet raccoon looks at me
@LoriLuvsShoes: My husband says I talk in my sleep but I don't believe him because nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
@TheCatWhisprer: My cat acts pretty tough for someone who disappears for 3 days anytime I sneeze.