@michaelianblack: The whole thing about "we're all going to die some day," that's a joke, right?
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@david_tull: Wow, according to the New York Times, just kidding, I have no idea what's going on.
@Chumpstring: [job interview] INTERVIEWER: what can you tell me about the last three years of your life ME: just that i hope they haven't started yet
@Steelers1972: My superpower is destroying the neighbors living room from 100 yards with nothing but her cat and my laser pointer.