@ElKnuckelhombre: I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.

@gigglegirlnoel: Trying to figure out if you practice the violin for many hours every day, or if you just have a really bad hickey.

@SarcasticAlly12: God, designing a toddler: ya know what would be hilarious would be if it has no ability to reason but talks nonstop. Also make it trip a lot

@Darlainky: Divorce court is like regular court except the judge sentences you to freedom.

@SondraDeeMe: Boyfriend's on the phone talking to a guy about lattes and his love of peach scones. I'm on the couch wondering when our periods synced.