@Dani_Feld: The wifi going down on me is the most action I'm going to get tonight.
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@Lisa_Laughs_: I don't mind people that stick their noses in the air. It makes it that much easier to trip them or push them down 10 flights of stairs.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: They're just making up new weather with this 'thunder snow' shit. Next we'll have 'earthquake rain' or 'sunny darkness' or some shit.
@KKAlThani: Probably the worst time to ask "shouldn't we go on a date first?" is after getting handcuffed by a police officer.
@FattMernandez: [On WebMD] I have a sore throat [Throat cancer] I wasn't done, and a stomach ache. [Cancer] Couldn't it be the flu? [If it wasn't cancer]