The wind blew a smart car into my lane and I had to roll down my window and swat it out of the way.

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@thegayfarmerguy: The wind blew a smart car into my lane and I had to roll down my window and swat it out of the way.

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@dirtyddixon: My goal was to lose 10 pounds this year... ~Only 15 more to go!!

@Robert_Beau: The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn't even apply for the job.

@buy_2_hams: *Evanescence* (Buy two hams!) Buy two hams right now! (I need two hams!) I need two sopping hams (SAAAAVE ME)

416

@MKupperman: An odd boast

1902

@Rollinintheseat: Him: "Do you want to cuddle?" Me: "Yeah, let me call the dog."

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