@thegayfarmerguy: The wind blew a smart car into my lane and I had to roll down my window and swat it out of the way.
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@GabbbarSingh: Parliament should learn from Twitter, thousands of people shout here doing nothing productive, yet it never gets adjourned.
@Jake_Vig: If he marries someone else, raises a family, and leads a very fulfilling life, maybe he's just not that into you.
@ThisOneSayz: Woman to friend at store: We can get shrimp for people who don't eat meat! Me: don't forget the cheese for the lactose intolerant people!