@Jake_Vig: The woman in line behind apparently wants to slowly put her body inside of mine.
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@DryDickRando: Hello sir. Your toddler called me a 'stinky poopyhead' at the store. I've spent 6 days formulating a comeback, and I'd like to own him now.
@Ygrene: [being murdered by cows] more like (finger quotes) "moodered" amirite [the other farm animals immediately join in, even some corn is mad]
@JasonLastname: I've done hundreds of crossword puzzles over the years, but just this morning I noticed they provide clues.
@1Happytwit: I like to skip when I'm carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.