@Jake_Vig: The woman in line behind apparently wants to slowly put her body inside of mine.
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@fart: "my favorite bon jovi song? oh its definitely the one where it sounds like a computer is trying to talk while burping"
@KateWhineHall: My sister had a baby today. I think I've used that as an excuse to get out of more stuff this week than she has.
@nigelgodwin: I always have a suicide note in my shower so that i wont look stupid if i ever slip and crack my head