@DothTheDoth: The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work.
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@mrtruthandsoul: Hey guys with your phone in a hip holster, is it because your purse is too full with tampons?
@WildeThingy: Food wedding anniversaries: Year 1: champagne 2: strawberries 3: chocolate 4: donuts 5: protein shakes 6: microwave meal 7: Rat poison
@mean_crow: to the scum photoshopping bandanas on my wedding photos, STOP. my wife has a bad memory & is in tears, she thinks she married a bandana guy
@UmarHSoaries: They told me it was love at first sight during their divorce proceedings. - Reasons why I drink