@MelKassel: The woman next to me smells SO good, is it weird if I'm like "What perfume is that, I will literally stop robbing this bank if you tell me"?
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@GingerHotDish: [Me as a Sunday school teacher] ...then on the third day Odin went to Valhalla so that warriors who died in battle would have eternal life.
@TheBoydP: The "free milkshakes for a month" contest I just won is telling me my month's supply of shakes is 5 shakes. Yeah 5 should last me a month...
@sweet_pea707: HR: Do you know why I called you in here today? Me: I have a boyfriend HR: Ok, sorry to bother you