@IamEnidColeslaw: the women in tampon commercials should switch places with the women in antidepressant commercials
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@jdforshort: Sneaks into your house and removes all the labels from your canned goods. Shuffles them well.
@meganamram: When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it's like what am i, your maid
@Just_Lee_: Romantic subtweets are like watching a couple kissing in a restaurant. We're all very happy for you but it still makes us want to vomit.