@IamEnidColeslaw: the women in tampon commercials should switch places with the women in antidepressant commercials
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@ericsshadow: 20 yr old mom: my child is my life I would give my own life for him 40 yr old mom: GET OFF THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW OR I WILL END YOU
@garrydavenport: "Nwbdy tellsh mwe wht to dwo", I say through a mouthful of cardboard, giving a middle finger to "remove pizza from box before consumption".
@blaudiablogan: Guy asked me where I got my green eyes. Great! Now I have to explain what the Vikings did when they got to Sicily.
@Parker_Simpson: I trust a woman ab as far as I can throw her. Very far. As far as she wants. I'll do anything plz come back to me *cries into pillow*