@AlisonAgosti: The word "Caesar" has always bothered me. It looks like a and e are mad at each other.
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@lurve_meh: They say kill 'em with kindness but it's much quicker if you just take their phone charger away.
@XplodingUnicorn: My 3-year-old told me she covered the house in "fairy dust" She better mean cocaine because if it's glitter somebody's going to be homeless
@bridger_w: If I'm busy and see an interesting article, I open it in a new tab, read the first paragraph, and later, when I have time, close the tab