@AlisonAgosti: The word "Caesar" has always bothered me. It looks like a and e are mad at each other.
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@nbadag: [commercial] WOMAN: have u ever wondered what would happen if a car alarm could swim? NARRATOR: geese
@SteveSuckington: "I'm just gonna pull on weird animal parts until something comes out that I can drink" -guy who discovered milk
@kelownagoose: Fun game: Select all of your Snapchat contacts and send them a text that says... "Wow...Are you sure that was for me?" And wait.