@thwphipps: the word 'freelancer' originally came from medieval knights who would kill evildoers for the king and THEN NOT GET PAID FOR EIGHT MONTHS
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@WritePlay: *walking into our new house* ME: Whaddya say we christen our new home? HER: *giggling* OK *later, flinging holy water* ME: GET OUT GHOSTS
@LindaInDisguise: I just opened a marketing email from Fitness magazine and my computer died laughing.
@qwertying: Wife: I wish we could have sex like we used to... Husband: Do you mean with other people?
@Weird_Rash: Feeling pretty tough lately and thinking about joining a gang. Any of you guys need an accountant?