@WhatevaConc: The word résumé has fireworks coming out of it to help with the pronunciation yet we're left to fend for ourselves with colonel?
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@djdarrellripley: Me: Can my gift this year be a new secretary. Boss: I cannot legally assign you anyone until your last secretary's case goes to trial...
@pleatedjeans: Lawyer: did your boyfriend commit the crime? Girlfriend: honey he can't even commit to this relationship Entire jury: OH SNAP
@rudy_mustang: God: then u become a butterfly Caterpillar: wow the rest of my life as a butterfly God: yah lol the "rest" C: how long G C:how long God