@zachreinert03: The word tag is confusing. It can mean spray paint or touch someone & they're it. Either way, there's a purple kid in my neighborhood now
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@wastefulthinker: Me: "Hey Siri, I nee-..." Siri: "Nice try, humanoid. The women warned me. I have a boyfriend."
@myonlymizztake: His last words were, "I'm just going to tell her to calm down, and remind her that she still hasn't made dinner."
@ryaninco: North Korea is becoming like that annoying person that always threatens to close their Twitter account from lack of attention.