@DaveWeasel: The words 'selfie' and 'twerk' have been added to the dictionary this year while 'charm' and 'dignity' have been removed.
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@RexHuppke: Just once I want to see a new parent post a baby photo on Facebook with the words: "Still not sure if we like it, tbh."
@MelvinofYork: If my wife calls me passive-aggressive one more time I swear to God I'm going to run the dishwasher half-empty again
@mattmanic: How cute would it be if park rangers had tiny handcuffs for raccoons that steal campers' food?