@living_marble: The world is my oyster. Expensive and gross.
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@IAmKatieOrr: "Dear Diary, the ugly woman at the bank cut in front of me today." Woman: "EXCUSE ME?!" [whispers]"Dear Diary, I think she can hear me."
@DeLMarSan: Guys, leave 3 notes scattered around ur house for ur girlfriend that say "Will", "you", & "me." That'll keep her busy while u watch sports.
@jonnysun: ur honor, i call GOD as my witness *jury gasps* *nothimg happens* *slowley, a man w/ beard rises from the stands* damit no Gary sit down
@simoncholland: I'm sorry you're breaking up [static sound] I'm about to go through a tunnel. Dad, we're right in front of you Uh..... go ask your mom.