@badbanana: The world is my oyster. Too expensive to enjoy every day.
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@moxieblogger: If you ever feel dumb, remember sometimes sloths grab their own arms thinking they are tree branches and fall to the ground.
@Matt_The_1st: I may not be able to out run the zombies when they come, but this cheeseburger is going to make me taste great
@Kimpulses: A woman was arrested when her boyfriend’s body was found in a freezer in their living room. Who the hell puts a freezer in the living room?
@LaziestCanine: A fish's Google search history: - do fish have short term memory? - do fish have short term memory? - do fish have short term memory?