@badbanana: The world is my oyster. Too expensive to enjoy every day.
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@TheBoydP: Protip: Never take your wife with you to your annual checkup. She will tell the doctor way too much about you.
@CakeThrottle: Bruce Willis: I hate when people talk during movies, I never do it Director: Yes but we're filming the movie now, do you see the difference
@HatfieldAnne: You in the crosswalk: I stopped for you. I stopped. I'm stopped. I won’t unstop. Don’t look at me. Just walk. Go. For the love of God.