@samalmightysam: The world would be a better place if everybody drank alcohol. It would get even better if some of them choked on it.
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@theyearofelan: If there is one thing the Internet has taught us it is that even the dumbest people on Earth have somehow learned how to use the Internet
@Iwriteforcats: The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
@TuffyNyC: It's nice when my kitchen smells extra clean cause I used an entire bottle of Clorox to kill one ant.