@tdwyer618: The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
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@cervixsmash: Mobile tweeting with 3% battery is a lot like the band playing while the titanic sank
@Dawn_M_: Awww it's cute how your baby pulls my hair. Like she doesn't realise I will pull hers right back.
@HungoverLawyer: Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don't want to touch it any more than you do.