@tdwyer618: The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
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@therealeatwood: JUDGE: I sentence you to 2 consecutive life sentences [60 yrs later: convict dies, is reincarnated] COP: This baby camel is under arrest
@TheRobCee: "Hey, let's make the inside of this building & every square inch of everyone & everything smell like THIS." -inventor of incense
@stonedcoldlazy: Things I've learned on Twitter: 1. A Twitter Crush is not a soft drink 2. Naps rule 3. Pants are optional 4. Everybody hates Nickelback
@Kirinodere: Obama: I'm going to miss living in the White Hou- Biden: DUUUDE look at my roll! Obama: MAAAN is that UR Kotori?